i am fighting for what side. i know the answer

Confusion

I miss my son who I never call or see and do not send nearly enough financial help. His sister is right there and I often have remind myself that she is there and they still love me I cry my son I know our roads will meet again by then I know I will have what is required to raise you. I love you and I cry for you everyday. I am more like my dad then I thought fuckkkk.

restart

so here it goes my new way of journaling i am so mad at myself right now and its making me even more angry that i refuse to cry and release this fucking pain iam holding in my body no  no more will i hold my tongue for the sake of  for twill i sacrifice my health for the sake of sparing someones feeling who warrents no such courtsey when dealing with some one of such nature you owe no respest in approach as they do not feel you are worththe respest you think you have for yourself do not wait for any mutha fuckin body to pou0r your fucking drink for you nigga you know bettger do better niggs do fuvkin better nigga lets go you  got this this aint shit release this releaese it. fuck you bitch the next as i know there will be a next time i got you, i am coming for you. you have been in the place i frequent the restroom on many occasions. without reciprocity ( so what if not spelled wright) laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh agugh stop it not her or your fault she stupidfor not reconiging the real light in her trio and maybe i am doing the same in my family i feel better the for listening world peace

My thanks to be given

My thanks to be given

I am always very observant in an new environment,
I pay close attention to the people.

How families intermingle,
if parents are close with their children,
how grand kids maneuver around the elders.

In a lot of cases  you can spot who has hurt who,
who is looked up too,
Which ones outside of this environment is crew.
I consider those observations to be quite a winnable game.

The struggle comes from observing the environment.
How does earth feel?
Are the heaven’s pleased?
Does the soil embrace the gratitude given on this day?
Are the trees aware of the thankful feelings humans portray on thanksgiving day?

I am with a family that holds hands, gets in a circle and give thanks,
It is my turn.
I would like to give thanks to the heaven’s,
you give me something to look up to.
To the trees, plants, flowers, and all the greenery,
you keep it breathable, even though I really never acknowledge you.
Finally, to my mother,
You continually show me that no matter where I go,  no matter where I am,
I will be with sisters and brothers   amongst family,
you find ways to show me that no matter the geography
I will have people who   Go love me.

Thank you
PKA LyingTongue

Alone

I sit silent. 
Overhearing conversations.
Laughters start off timid sort of unnatural.
As the wine flows the smile grows.
Bodies convulse, mouths are open wide, and heads are thrown back.
I sit in silence
Overhearing conversations
A woman that is no longer in love showing every bit of disinterest in what is being said.
A man struggling to be kept, the love he knows is dead.
I wonder if he feels it too.
I enjoy being silent and overhearing conversations.
Try it
Be silent
Overhear conversations
Let the room overtake.   You
By LyingTongue